Burnout is real and it doesn’t care who you are, what you do and it certainly doesn’t care when in your life it knocks on your door. I know because I have had it many times in my life, including right now as I type this. In creating succexxxful, I have faced every emotion and self sabotaging moment you can think of. It took me quite some time and help to realize that the only thing actually stopping me was myself. I had no idea I was capable of being my own road block! I let myself play the victim to my circumstance that I forgot I could also play a different role: the hero.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the frustration of nothing working out. Having an empty, quiet cam room. Not getting a single dollar on stage when the girl before you was rained on. Not making your daily goal and wondering if it’s because you forgot to get more eyelashes at the store. You just need to remember we ALL have these days and the universe isn’t out to get you, but you are! You being too critical and hard on yourself can certainly make it feel like the world is against you.
If you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed or anything else along these lines you are not alone. You’re very much so surrounded by the rest of us, the majority, that feel this way at some point or another. It’s very rare to be so headstrong that you can take on any experience and not face some adversity within yourself. If this job was easy, don’t you think everyone would be doing it?
No one but us seems to understand we are our own makeup artist, costume designer, bouncer, graphic designer, hype man, accountant, psychologist, lighting crew… you catch my drift. This shit is NO JOKE. Before I came along, girls had to either hope they had a friend to show them or try to pick it up themselves scouring endless blogs and empty Internet searches to piece it together. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, imagine how those girls felt with ZERO guidance or anyone to turn to!
I try not to sound like anyone’s mother but this is something you’re going to hear me say a lot. Feeling frustrated, anxious and sometimes even envious of others succexxx is totally normal in life let alone this industry. I have a few tips for you to make sure you avoid the dreaded burn out!
- Drinking on the job is always a fun and easy way to attract customers, but please limit yourself on how much and often you are. It can lead to a bad habit of hangovers and missing your schedule the next day!
- Never compare yourself to someone else. You have NO clue how long they’ve been around, what their life outside of work is like, who they had to deal with to be where they are.. It will never be an equal comparison and it’s not fair to you.
- Don’t try to be a superhero! If you’re not feeling up to it physically, by all means take a day off for your health. Members on webcam do appreciate you logging online when sick to be with them but nobody wants to risk anyone’s health.
- Don’t over promise anything. It’s easy to be so thankful to a patron for their tip that you promise something you cannot deliver, and it will easily wear you out to be constantly owing people content or your time.
- Don’t think it has anything to do with YOU personally if you get a random hater in your room or that dickhead customer at the club. We all get them for whatever reason and the best thing to do is ignore them completely. Move on, and again don’t take it personally no matter WHAT bullshit they say to you. They want to see you get upset and throw you off your game. Some actually take enjoyment in this, while sad it is very true. Ignoring or blocking them shows you are indifferent to their crap and they will give up.
- NEVER focus on the money. Having a daily goal is necessary to keep you working hard but the moment you make your shift all about the cash is when you stop having fun and start taking shit too seriously. Nobody is going to make hundreds or thousands of dollars every single shift. It’s just not how this type of job works and the sooner you realize what you make does not equate your worth as a person, the better.
- Realize there are countries where women aren’t even allowed to vote, think for themselves, have an education or hardly even drive. You are extremely lucky that this is a possibility for you and it’s something you should be thankful for every single day. The freedom to truly be who you want to be, unapologetically, is a beautiful gift you have been given. Remind yourself of this on days you think that everything is against you.
- You do not need to spend copious amounts of money on pedicures, manicures and the likes. If you are not making money as easily as you did the previous month or week, forgo the salon trip and pamper yourself at home. There is a difference between taking care of yourself and taking care of yourself responsibly. While it’s amazing to treat yoself (insert Parks and Rec reference here) to these types of things it isn’t a life or death matter. However, feeding yourself or your family/pets is a serious necessity. Prioritize!
- GET OUT OF YOUR DAMN HOUSE! Go on a walk. Take a hike. Borrow a friend’s bicycle and get some exercise. I can lecture you on how this benefits your serotonin levels but we already know why I am saying this. I really don’t need to elaborate any further. Just do it!
- Last but not least, the saying “we are what we eat” is the most honest phrase that applies to everyone. I’m not asking you to go to Whole Foods to buy all organic and break your bank. What I AM saying is that fast food 4 nights in a row may not be the best idea. Sure it’s the only food option open late or whatever other excuse you tell yourself, but that doesn’t work here. You can do things to prepare you for the late night food cravings like meal prep. Stop being lazy and start taking care of your body!